Dirk Dada, P.I.-

Note the chiseled jaw, the chiseled nose, the chiseled ears. Yeah, this hard drinking, hard boiled hunk is all hero. There's not a lot that makes sense in this crazy town, but Dirk's got a knack for finding the few things that do and stringing em together. He's Mike Hammer, Casanova, and Judge Judy all rolled into one, and he ain't half bad at writing his own bio.

Monique Monique -

A heretical talking mime looking for a missing duck. A woman of indeterminate means. She lives among the rich and vainglorious in the Heights, but she drives a Le Car. She comes from a long and distinguished line of very serious mimes who have, as far as I can tell, disowned her. I don't trust her, but she pays in cash.

Doctor Victor von Phlogistein -

Scientist. Alchemist. Paranoid genius. He works in a dungeon across the hall from my office. Able to build anything out of anything. Abandoned the countryside for the city after an incident involving peasants and pitchforks. He's convinced Eli Whitney, inventor of the cotton gin, is out to destroy him.

that thing -

Victor's lab assistant/butler. Found hibernating on a couch in the laboratory, having apparently been asleep since the Fillmore Administration. Lost yeti, leftover lab experiment, nobody really knows what the hell it is except that it's tall, quiet, hairier than David Hasselhoff, and brews a mean pot of coffee.

Fingers & Trigger -

A couple two bit hoods I don't really know anything about yet. From what I hear, Fingers is the chatty one. Trigger talks too, but mostly with his fists. I hope I never need to get into an extended gab session with that mug.